05 3 / 2014
04 3 / 2014
I need to sleep in my own bed for once tonight - it’s starting to get ridiculous.
I’ve spent the last 5 nights at the Engineer’s place and I think my roommates are starting to think I’m moving out, hahah.
I took my linguistics midterm today (and said hello to Ginger Snap of course), and it was actually a lot easier than I had been expecting. My professor has a tendency to mark me down for really stupid shit though, so I hope I didn’t just fuck up really hard and not know it. I have two more midterms in my CS classes tomorrow and Thursday, but the hardest one is tomorrow….which is kind of sucky because I haven’t spent much time studying for it and my back is absolutely murdering me right now.
I spent last night with the Engineer studying and watching Greek (the usual, of course) and I didn’t even wake up to the sound of the alarm this morning. I think my body is starting to get used to sleeping with other people regularly again ‘cause I’ve noticed that I actually fall asleep when I stay at the Engineer’s place. Even when I was seeing the Linguist, I didn’t really sleep much, so this is a pleasant surprise :)
The Engineer unfortunately didn’t have too good of a night though, and there was definitely a moment in the night where he just started talking to me like it was morning. Thankfully I’m used to it since my roommate talks in her sleep on the daily (shout out to you, roomie!). Hopefully having the entire twin sized bed to himself tonight will help, haha.
So everything is going (mostly) fine and dandy, except now there’s a complication:
Canada is sort of surfacing back into my life and asked me out for this weekend.
I was kind of under the impression that Valentine’s Day was sort of a one time deal, but I guess he’s finally coming back for more - but I’m not really sure what the best way to approach that situation.
I really do like the Engineer, and spending time with him is great, but I do get the feeling like I’m putting forth a bit more effort than he is. I kind of like to have a balanced situation, where you’re doing just as much for me as I am for you. And that goes for anything, hookup to relationship. If I’m the one always texting you to come over, then what the hell is the point? To boost your ego? Now, the Engineer isn’t nearly at that point, but I do want to get some reciprocated affection here and there… I always end up in these situations where I feel like I’m doing all the work outside of sex (because back probs lol #grandma). I’m not too keen on doing that again.
So then we have Canada, who’s probably the best smooth-talker I’ve met, and texts me that he’s excited to see me and everything. I don’t even think I’m actually interested in the guy (‘cause let’s be real its just gonna be another super extended hookup if I see him again), but he tries REALLY FUCKING HARD to get me to hang out with him….
Side note: Speak of the devil because he just texted me asking about my midterms and to see how studying is going… great timing there Canada
I’m hesitant to say yes to seeing him either this weekend or next, because I don’t want it to have any effect on my situation with the Engineer. But then again its not like we’ve had any conversation about seeing/hooking up with other people. But then I know that I’d be a little upset if I just like, knew the Engineer was ditching me to go fuck some other girl. Struggles.
I feel like at this point in my… ahem… “sexual awakening”… I have at least a decent gauge of what guys want from me from their cues, but with the Engineer I’m completely and utterly lost. Some help would be appreciated over here, Engineer - ‘cause I know you probably read this more than you’ve fessed up to ;)
So while I go figure out my shit and decide how I’m going to figure out these two boys, ESPECIALLY YOU ENGINEER #rage, have a wonderful midterm week and happy noncommittal/maybe a little committal(?) hookups!